so out.

i am so out of it lately. just so mega out. and i dont know how to fix it.
i try, i really do. but i guess it doesnt seem to last.
im tired, tired of i guess trying to make it look alright, tired of life, tired of everything. i cannot name just one thing im tired from. just life. please make it all go away.
~

i tried to name my best friend today. and i dont think i could. i somehow think i havent found my best friend. i imagine my best friend someone i can tell everything to, someone i dont have to 'act', someone who is always there for me -no matter what. when i think of a best friend, i think of two people....A____ and F_______. But, you see ive had my fallouts with (A), but we are now alright...on the other hand, (F) and i are a good friends, but i feel like we arent as close as we think or hope to be.
~

i just dont know what to think anymore. and i dont know how to react. i dont know how to act.
its hard...and i dont know how to let it all go away...because i dont know the reason why im feeling like this. nothing catastrophic has happened in my life lately.......................its just me and something. ~ i need help.