the feeling of losing it

hmmmm, so basically i feel like in these two weeks of holidays, i have been slowly losing parts of myself --turning into someone else-ish. like okay, not that dramatic....but i feel like im getting confused with who i am and what my thoughts are. its so easy for me to go back and create my own world in my head, the perfect world. i wouldnt have to do that if what im living in at the moment was perfect enough for me.

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and for a moment just then, i think i know why im losing it. my sister. she just gets into phases so easily and so quickly --you cant keep up. we used to be fine, but now, i feel like sometimes its her that affects me (related to the mind). you know, it was so good seeing fel yesterday. we watched a movie and just talked. talked about LIFE. it was great. i hadnt really done that before, and it felt good. but its only been a day and i feel so different already.

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i may elaborate more tomorrow, if i feel like it. but im going to sleep now......but reading my sisters keeper first :)